waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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