Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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