Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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