Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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