nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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