Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
