Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
