Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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