I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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