I think I died a long time ago.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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