Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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