We're like a lot better than the average bears
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
