Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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