just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
