I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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