They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
