Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize