i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
