I've blown a few things in my day
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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