I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
