And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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