Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
