Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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