You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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