You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
