I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
