9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
