Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
