My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Mom said you looked used
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
