Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize