My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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