this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
So squirting runs in the family.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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