Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
