I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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