But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
