While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
