I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
