Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He kissed a someone with a penis
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
