perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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