Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
