if you like me you must not know who I am
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
