Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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