I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
