Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
