if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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