What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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