My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
