I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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