I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
