glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
ugly people sure do ruin things
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
