i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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