dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
