does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
