$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
