I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
