Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
