at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
It's blow job season.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
