are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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