Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
