I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
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