Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
