I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
