I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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